{"product_id":"the-0-accuracy-100-copium-tee","title":"THE \"0% ACCURACY \/ 100% COPIUM\" TEE","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTHE \"0% ACCURACY \/ 100% COPIUM\" TEE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eListen up, you absolute bottom-tier minions. If your life has about as much direction as a Stormtrooper’s blaster bolt in a narrow hallway, this is the shirt for you. It’s for the guys who thrive on being expendable, the ones who get spawned into the match just to provide a killstreak for the enemy hero.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis \"Battle-Worn\" Stormtrooper helmet looks exactly like your mental state after a 12-hour losing streak: cracked, dusty, and barely holding it together under the weight of an oppressive regime (your boss\/parents\/the HOA).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWHY YOU’RE CLICKING \"ADD TO CART\":\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \"Grime\" Aesthetic:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The distressed print hides the fact that you haven't done laundry since the last Steam Summer Sale.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeak Cannon Fodder Energy:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Perfect for when you want to signal that you’re ready to take one for the team (and by \"team,\" we mean the Discord server where you’re currently muted).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImperial Red Circle:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because nothing says \"I follow orders blindly\" like a big red target on your chest.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \"I Miss Every Shot\" Vibe:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Finally, a shirt that explains why your K\/D ratio looks like a phone number starting with zero.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Only Imperial Stormtroopers are this precise.\" \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYeah, right. Stop pretending you're an elite commando and embrace your destiny as the guy who gets knocked over by a rolling droid. Buy the shirt, join the ranks, and prepare to be replaced in the next scene.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Social Degenerates ","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44891218870341,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44891218903109,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44891218935877,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XLarge","offer_id":44891218968645,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL","offer_id":44891219001413,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44891219034181,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0669\/7808\/6981\/files\/C7FD383F-D6AB-429F-A06A-468E14B00B5E.jpg?v=1776591553","url":"https:\/\/socialdegenerates.shop\/products\/the-0-accuracy-100-copium-tee","provider":"Social Degenerates ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}