{"product_id":"the-derry-downer-tee-you-ll-float-too","title":"The \"Derry Downer\" Tee: You’ll Float Too","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \"Derry Downer\" Tee: You’ll Float Too\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet’s face it: you’ve been \"floating\" through life with zero direction for years, so you might as well have the wardrobe to match. This shirt is for the person who finds sewers more relatable than social gatherings and considers \"clown core\" a legitimate personality trait.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf your idea of a \"circus\" is the state of your bank account after a late-night spending spree, Pennywise is the only life coach you need.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It’s Your New Red Flag\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeak Manic Energy:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Half the face of the universe's most predatory clown, rendered in a neon-acid trip of lime green, hot pink, and electric blue. It says, \"I’m one minor inconvenience away from moving into the drainage system.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThreateningly Relatable:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The slogan \"You'll Float Too\" is perfect for when you want to remind your peers that we’re all just drifting aimlessly in the cosmic void of the internet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \"I Don't Go Outside\" Glow:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The vibrant, high-contrast colors are specifically designed to look best under the flickering light of a gas station at 3 AM or the glow of your second monitor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSocietal Camouflage:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A black tee that successfully hides the fact that you haven't seen a salad since the last time a horror movie reboot was actually good.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Social Degenerates ","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44917611102277,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44917611135045,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44917611167813,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XLarge","offer_id":44917611200581,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44917611233349,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44917611266117,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0669\/7808\/6981\/files\/9EB5BEEC-A732-455A-9A77-E10DD4A37CAD.png?v=1777207309","url":"https:\/\/socialdegenerates.shop\/products\/the-derry-downer-tee-you-ll-float-too","provider":"Social Degenerates ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}