{"product_id":"the-table-smasher-bling-hoodie-buffalo","title":"The \"Table Smasher\" Bling Hoodie BUFFALO","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \"Table Smasher\" Bling Hoodie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause why just throw yourself through a plastic folding table when you can do it wrapped in pure, glittering opulence? Designed specifically for tailgate menaces, 9:00 AM drinkers, and anyone who treats a crisp autumn Sunday like an unhinged, full-contact sport.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhether you're currently covered in beer, blue cheese, or questionable life decisions, this high-shine, bedazzled masterpiece ensures you'll be the flashiest degenerate in the lot.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need It\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaximum Sparkle, Minimum Decorum:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Features a high-intensity rhinestone charging buffalo front-and-center, engineered to blind rival fans and reflect the harsh morning glare of a stadium parking lot.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFolding-Table Reinforced:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Soft, fleece-lined interior gives you just enough padding for when the upper-deck leap doesn't go entirely as planned.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKangaroo Pocket Storage:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Deep front pocket holds two cold ones, a bottle of hot sauce, and whatever dignity you have left.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStain-Adjacent White:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A bold color choice for someone drinking red wine out of a bag at 10 AM, but bravery is what got us here.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low (do not melt the rhinestones).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Social Degenerates ","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":45662848385093,"sku":null,"price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":45662848417861,"sku":null,"price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":45662848450629,"sku":null,"price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XLarge","offer_id":45662848483397,"sku":null,"price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL","offer_id":45662848516165,"sku":null,"price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0669\/7808\/6981\/files\/IMG-3256.jpg?v=1788132817","url":"https:\/\/socialdegenerates.shop\/products\/the-table-smasher-bling-hoodie-buffalo","provider":"Social Degenerates ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}